Here Goes Nothing...

A few years back, I had this crazy urge to start a lifestyle blog. I thought, we are kind of interesting, right? But at that time, we were photographing 20+ weddings a year, I was trying to do it all with wedding invitations, teaching myself calligraphy, photography and trying to break into the world of illustrating kids books. I was overloaded and could barely find the time to breathe, let alone start ANOTHER venture with a lifestyle blog! 

After a few car ride conversations with Ryan this summer, I (we) have decided that we should give it a go! I've never been afraid to share my life and my story with anyone who is willing to listen. Take my LiveJournal for example, this might be foreign to some of you, but back when I was in high school, it was hip for kids to share their deep dark tortured thoughts on their LiveJournal, listen to Taking Back Sunday, and lean ironically up against brick walls just because. I was THAT kid, the moody tortured artist. I wore berets, turtlenecks, followed indie bands and listened to music that most kids weren't listening to. When I look back on the pages of that LiveJournal, I can't help but laugh, and thank God (and my english teacher) that I finally learned the difference between Your & you're and how to use proper punctuation. 

And now, 13 years later, I'm back at it, with this same desire to share my thoughts on the internet and hope that someone, anyone might find it interesting, helpful or therapeutic. Heck, I doubt my own mother will actually read this, but if one post makes one person feel a little less alone in this perfectly curated world of Pinterest moms and flawless families, then I'd chalk it up as a success. 

“We believe in laughing loudly, loving fiercely, Sunday couch cuddles, bold & bright colors, silly face selfies and everything in between.”

Life is funny, I would say, anytime I have a preconceived notion on a way something should go (Birthdays, holidays, special occasions, motherhood), it usually goes the complete opposite. I wanted to make this mom thing look easy, effortless. I wanted to "do it all"... grocery shopping, keep the house clean, laundry done, kids alive and also run a successful business. Turns out all that is good in theory, and probably possible for someone else, someone more organized but not for me. Which is why last year we made the decision to close our wedding photography business and only take on a few photo sessions each year, being sure not to overload our schedules. And also why I decided to start selling Young Living products, because it's a wonderful business I can do from my home with my babies in tow. I knew I wanted a few small side projects to keep me slightly busy, because as if being a mom to two little kids isn't busy enough! 

Our family is far from perfect, and we have come to realize that our views are slightly less common, but we try hard to be a modern day Pollyanna and choose to find the good in all of life's twists and turns. We would much rather enjoy home-scooped ice cream cones with our kids, as we take a late night stroll around our quiet neighborhood than do anything else. Which is why we wanted to start this blog. We wanted to share our quiet, simple life with anyone that would read to give them permission to also live a simplified life & enjoy the small world around them! So, will you follow along? We'd love to have you! 

An Answered Prayer

My last blog post was my plea with the Lord, asking Him to MOVE. Having Him help me to understand His timing, and to be patient in the journey. After what feels like a lifetime of trying, but really only 19 months, we have received an answer to our prayers. For the past month, we've known about this little miracle growing and taking shape, and we've been BURSTING at the seams with joy and excitement to let the world know!! ​

As I type this, I am currently 9.5 weeks, with baby due in July 2017. We've had our first ultrasound and heard our sweet little ones heart beating. I know we are not technically in the "safe zone" and others may find it odd that we are sharing so soon, but after much thought and prayer, we've decided that we will honor this little life early on. We know that many of you have followed our story and our struggle and have been praying for us through this difficult time, so we would just ask that you continue to pray for us and this precious babey. Pray that the Lord is knitting him or her together perfectly in His image and that through our story, others will be able to see the goodness of our Savior and how He provides for us in His time. 

As Catholic's we believe that life starts at conception, and even if the Lord decides He needs to take this child from us too earl, we still want to recognize his or her existence, and Give God the Glory! He is a Lord of Rescue and Redemption, He makes all things NEW in His Time. 

We want to sincerely thank all of you who have sent emails or messages of love and encouragement, words of advice, or prayers. Your love and support has meant so much to us and we are so excited about this next chapter! Thank you!  

What I Really Need

Oh, you know what I really need? Warmth. Sunlight. Family time. Possibly even a strong tequila-beverage. I just feel so beat down. This winter seemed so long and harsh even though it was actually a very mild winter here in Michigan. 

I need flowers. I need house projects. I need walks outside with my son. And mostly I just need grace. I make myself feel like I need to be everything to everyone. I have to be at my best all the time. I need to Be healthy and active with adorable clothes and a perfect life with all the answers. But when I'm 100% honest, I'd tell you I'm drowning. 

My day is primarily comprised of motherhood, with days of cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and meal planning thrown in for good measure. A few sprinkles of husband time & Add in a few dashes of emails, handlettering, miscellaneous projects and social media, and you have my life. There is not time for extras. No social gatherings. No book club. Not many friends outside of my immediate family members. I may SEEM social, but I promise you, I'm not. 

I don't say this to seek sympathy or get an invite to your next party, I say this so that maybe others who are feeling the same way don't feel lonely. I work so hard to simply stay afloat on the daily. Today as I texted my husband who is off to work, "I really miss you" tears streamed down my face because I really really do miss him. And I see him daily. He's not off in the military or on a work trip. He's here. With me. Everyday. But I miss him so much that it hurts. We're busy. And I HATE THAT WORD. Busy. I cringe every time I read it in peoples messages to me, because I sometimes I wish I wasn't. 

A few years ago I listened to an online webinar about being present & choosing what matters. It was about taking 5-10 minutes out of your day to simply lay in the grass, or go and share an ice cream cone with your child. At the time I didn't have kids, I was living in an apartment a few hours away from family and spent a lot of my days alone working like crazy from my home office. I felt overwhelmed. You know what is sad? I never corrected anything. I didn't set any new habits in place to be better, to be more intentional with my time, or to make time for what is truly important and what matters.

Soon after that webinar, we decided to move back home, live with my in-laws while we looked for a home to buy. Life became infinitely harder. A few months later we moved into our new house, and were thrust head first into a busy wedding season, followed by a few home projects, followed by finding out I was pregnant, prepping for a child, followed by having a baby, Ryan going back to school for his Masters, then life as new parents, etc. Ups and downs all along the way, but to say I've stopped to lay in the grass, I can honestly say that has only happened once since then. The only reason I know that is because I actually have a photo to prove it. 

Look at how little Jonathan was! It makes me so sad to think that there are never moment of silence for me. Never time for me to be still, to shut out the outside world, to shut out the thoughts in my head about wanting and needing to capture the moment, to answer that e-mail or to be social on social media. There is no off switch. And I'm tired. I'm so angry with myself for having it take me this long to realize that something has to change. 

I'm hoping that by admitting this to the public, that maybe I can be held accountable. When was the last time that you laid in the grass or took time away from the demands of social media and the demands of your job to just BE. I need to do this more, and if I do, I'm sure there are others. 

The Baby Shower | Welcoming Baby V-Dubs

Can you believe that we are already approaching one year of having the cutest little boy I ever did see in our lives? How did that happen? So to celebrate this awesome week, I want to get some blog posts up that are all about this sweet baby boy and how we prepared for his arrival. 

When we found out that we were having a little boy, it SERIOUSLY took some getting used to. Convinced I was going to have a little girl and create a room of Pink and Gold accents, as soon as I opened my eyes to see blue confetti falling from the sky, I knew that this little dude growing inside of me was going to have some pretty sweet shoes to fill. I went out the next day and bought a hat and some adorable boat shoes to make it seem more real. 

So, when it came time to start planning the shower, light baby blue and pastels were NOT an option. He was my little Man right off the bat, and there was no doubt in my mind that we had to have a Shower to reflect that. My go-to colors of choice are Turquoise/Teal & Green. Starting there I created some fun invites to get people excited about this fun fête! 

The centerpieces were created by my talented friend, Rachel of Urban Flowers. And the soaps were made by my fabulous sister-in-law Sarah with the packaging created by me of course! :) 

My mom is seriously a master when it comes to fun details for showers and weddings and she made all these adorable bow-ties, table runners, and all the bunting you see hanging. I swear that woman needs to open her own online shop to sell all this awesomeness! 

All the food was created with LOVE by my fairy godmother, Diane. This woman is also a creative wonder & a master of many things! 

What a fabulous way to celebrate our baby boy, back when he was just Baby VDubs to us! :)