I’m a cradle Catholic. Meaning, I’ve been Catholic all my life, since a newborn. So I’ve done all the sacraments, attend weekly mass, go to confession, live my life as best as I can in accordance with the Bible & Catholic Catechism. I’ve been a part of 38 Lents now, obviously not being too aware of the ones in my earlier days, but I remember being served peanut butter sandwiches, fish sticks or cheese pizza at school lunch through the years. However, the core memory of Lent as a kid was always going to Ash Wednesday Mass at our school. (I attended Catholic school from K-12). As we got older, we were always worried about how big the cross would be, or if it would look silly compared to other kids. (Because kids can be cruel, even if it’s out of your control). It seemed silly and superficial, and kind of defeated the purpose of the message.
Seeing as my children are homeschooled, and spared of that form of torture, the last two years we’ve made it a priority to make it to Ash Wednesday mass. When you’re not solely focused on what other kids are going to say about your ash cross, it’s easier to listen to the message of fasting and almsgiving. Clearly, Lent was hard to understand as a kid. It felt like a lot of unnecessary discomfort. This whole concept of sacred suffering was lost on me, or at the very least, it wasn’t explained to me clearly. I always thought, “But why would God want me to suffer?” Even in to adulthood, suffering seemed like an unfair outcome.
In 2022, as I dug DEEP into my understanding of my faith, I read countless books by the saints and Catholic scholars about suffering and purification. Which only lead me to more and more questions. Questions I didn’t know how to answer, or who I should turn to for clarification. I felt a little overwhelmed by what I had found, so I texted my very smart, very faithful younger brother. I just wanted to toss around some things, see if he had any insight or recommendations on books I should read to understand deeper. When he texted back this:
“God allowed the torture and death of His Son on Earth, what makes you think you’re immune to suffering?”
Well, that was the punch in the gut I needed to hear. Why was I thinking my life should be perfect? No suffering, no inconveniences, no hardships? If God didn’t answer my prayers the way I had hoped He would, did it mean He is a Mean God? or Unjust? Of course not! It reminded me of all the time it took me to get pregnant, then having a miscarriage, and being told there is no medical explanation for my infertility. But we continued to pray, and “if not, He is Still Good”. Obviously if you know me at all, you know we went on to have 3 kids, but back to what I think I’m trying to say.
Lent is to remind us of the suffering Christ endured for us. As we choose things to give up, or fast from, we are meant to sit in our discomfort and offer up our suffering and prepare our hearts for the death and resurrection of our Lord. Taking that, and explaining it to children now as an adult, still seems a little foreign. I told them how we give up things we like, or sins we struggle with in order to heal our own ugliness. God will always forgive us when we come to Him for forgiveness, but we need to be actively working on improving ourselves to be better followers of Him. Jesus never said “You’re perfect just the way you are, no notes.” He tells us, “repent from your sins, go & sin no more.”
I could go on and on with this subject, but I think it might make some people a little annoyed or angry. I’ll leave you with this. Little Kids don’t need to give up anything for Lent, but if you show them by example of what you’re trying to do work on yourself this Lent, they might just want to do the same. The last two years, after we went to Ash Wednesday mass, with the ashes freshly placed on our foreheads, we sat down and discussed things we could offer up to God this Lent. We then wrote them out and hung them in a place we could see them daily to remember just what we need to be working on. It’s not perfect and to be honest, yesterday was spent in an anxiety loop of not know where to start or what to do… but I’m working on it.
Happy Friday! Until next time! <3
