Coming Up for Air...

I have missed this space. Like truly, deeply missed sharing my life in this capacity. My last post was March of 2021, and well to say “A LOT has changed since then”, would be quite the understatement. In a nutshell? In August (2021), Ryan took a new job in Ohio, we moved, bought a new house, started homeschooling, and I’ve jumped head first into making this new house our home.

It’s been a rough year, dealing with feelings of losing myself, overwhelm, anxiety and some seasonal depression as I’ve navigated these days of mom-seclusion at home, with no babysitter or family around to help lighten the burden, but that’s life isn’t it? Everyone has their crosses to bear, or has difficult points in their days, weeks, months. But through all that, Ryan and I have been working with a counselor for both our marriage and individual personal things, I’ve been digging deeper into my faith as a Catholic, and slowly but surely, I feel like I’m finally coming up for air.

SO much has changed in our home since this photo was taken. Lots of painting, wallpapering, and overall feeling like this space has turned into the creative environment we needed. I still miss my kitchen in Midland, EVERY DAY… Mostly missing those white quartz countertops, but I’m slowly convincing Ryan that we would benefit from new countertops. But its all been a journey. I tell myself daily that Instagram isn’t real life, that it is completely unrealistic to buy, renovate and have everything painted and in perfect order when you move into a new home. Having that expectation is only going to usher in feelings of frustration and discontent.

As I sit here at the counter, in my 90’s oak kitchen, with brown countertops, I can’t help but look around and smile at all the work I’ve done thus far. So much life & personality has been breathed into this home, and I can see the fruits of my labor. But the before & afters are for another day. In the meantime, we are enjoying our new normal, missing Michigan like crazy, but enjoying all that Ohio has to offer. We’ve made a couple friends, Ryan is thriving in his new position at work, we have hit our stride with homeschooling and the kids truly enjoy all this time together.

Now if I can just get better at carving out some time once a week to get back to updating this site. Even if no one reads this, I want to be able to look back at this journey together, with my favorite people in the whole wide world.

—The Van Wert Fam.

New Habits, New Routines...

So, I read a whole book, actually two whole books since January 1st. But I read a whole book in 8 days. I know for a lot of people this isn’t a big accomplishment, but I’ve learned to celebrate my wins, regardless of how big or small.

At the start of 2021, without much thought at all, I set a couple goals for myself in the new year. I already established a daily workout routine, and told myself I would get back to my “normal diet” of eating less or no Gluten & Dairy… so when I told myself, One book, per month, for a total of 12 books total, Ryan looked at me like I had grown a second head. No booklist, no one to hold me accountable and no plan on how I was going to accomplish this, just a dream.

Little back story on me… I hate reading. Yup. Not a fan. I could probably count on two hands the number of books that I’ve sat down and read in their entirety. {Most of which being the Harry Potter series.} I have a half-read graveyard in my office of all the books I started but didn’t have the attention span to actually finish.

I started trying to read a chapter here and there, but it wasn’t a consistent habit, so I would lost interest. But in my daily consumption of podcasts, I listened to one about how to train yourself to be a “morning person”. Spoiler, there is not magic solution, JUST TO DO IT. Get up. Set an alarm and force yourself out of bed. Find something to look forward to, and do it. Around Christmas time, I bought an echo dot alarm clock, with a hope to be better at waking up, so now I just tell Alexa to wake me up to Norah Jones Radio, which is surprisingly a very pleasant way to wake up. That first morning was surprisingly easy… I didn’t focus on all the quality cozy time I was missing out on, or focusing on how comfortable my bed is, instead I looked forward to 30-45 min of childfree quiet time that I could enjoy, while I sip my coffee and start my day off in peace. This past year I’ve learned that I’m a fairly weird person… I mean, I’ve ALWAYS known I was weird, but in terms of motivation, I’m weird. When it comes to creating habits, I either need to do them EVERY DAY, or not at all, because if I don’t do it every day, I get lazy and tell myself it’s okay to “take a day off”. And just like that my routine is shot.

I listened to the podcast on February 12th, that night I set my alarm, and within two weeks I had finished the book I started in January & then I read an entire book in 8 days. EIGHT. DAYS. Couldn’t tell you the last time I did that, actually, I couldn’t tell you if I’ve EVERY done that, but now, being a mom of three, this is not something I made time for in the past. Now I’m mapping out my next book for the month of March, because this weird sense of accomplishment is slightly addicting.

“The instruction manual for deep change is the same every single day. Show up. Show up. Show up. ”

— Hannah Brencher -Fighting Forward

It can be hard to look at yourself and figure out what habits are good and which habits you should drop, or :gasp: where you can add new healthy habits. I don’t know how to get you in that mental headspace, because everyone is different. You have to want it for yourself & you have to find something to look forward to. For me, the quiet time was a HUGE motivator, and a hot cup of coffee, the nuggets of wisdom from the books is just bonus!

Books I’ve read so far: The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton
Fighting Forward by Hannah Brencher

My Current Podcast Line-up

Within the past two years, I’ve been falling more and more in love with Podcasts. There is seriously something for everyone, and I adore that. The common trend with women of my age, are crime junkie podcasts, but I’m going to be real with you… letting that type of evil into my brain is not good for me on so many levels. I notice how depressive it can be for my spirit, so I try to avoid anything that is going to exacerbate my anxiety and stress levels. That being said, most of the podcasts I listen to tend to deal with “self help” or my faith as a Catholic Christian, but there are a couple that are just because I have a weird sense of humor and like the Office.

Minimalism & Clutter Control:

My First & maybe my favorite podcast that I BINGE when I need a real kick in the pants to get to cleaning and decluttering my house, is A SLOB COMES CLEAN with Dana K. White. She is an author and mom, who gives your realistic goals for cleaning for people who really hate cleaning. Some of her concepts were already things I was doing on a weekly basis, but listening to her podcasts really gave me a lot of Lightbulb moments when I realized that you can’t organize anything until you CLEAR OUT THE CLUTTER, otherwise you are just “Stuff shifting” and that doesn’t solve anything. Hello! Her voice is so soothing, and its easily something I can listen to while I make dinner or :gasp: clean and organize my house.

Next up. THE COZY MINIMALIST, MINIMALIST MOM’S PODCAST, WITH INTENTION & WANNABE MINIMALIST. These four are great, but I’m not as quick to click on them because I have so many new podcasts that I’ve been listening to lately, and not a ton of time. But they are good and have a lot of great content. I started focusing on Minimalism a couple years ago when I realized that living with less was a really good idea as we were fighting hard to pay down debts and manage the stuff that was already in our house.

The Cozy Minimalist is great if you don’t have a lot of time and just want short bursts of inspiration. (Her earlier episodes are better) Recently, it feels like she is having trouble distinguishing herself and letting the negative comments get her down.

Minimalist Moms Podcast is great because she talks to a lot of other moms who are dealing with the day to day life of managing kids and a house in addition to working, etc. You get to hear what works and doesn’t work for them. I love to weed through and see what things I can try to implement in my own life, and then go from there.

With Intention Podcast, recently changed to this name, but she focuses on living with intention and will talk about a lot of minimalist ideals. Lots of great ideas to slow down and enjoy the inbetween.

Wannabe Minimalist is also great because it just hammers home this idea of getting away from the consumer mindset and how to look at your house with fresh eyes to pair down on things you don’t use or need.

Life & Self Help

The Chalene Show is my current favorite podcast. She talks all about living with ADD & ADHD and all the ways you can uplevel your life, break bad habits, start new routines, etc. She’s so smart and funny and gets right to the point. A lot of her content is science based, and I’m currently working through her Decluttering series from the beginning of this year. SO MUCH GOOD INFO.

Fresh Exchange is by a Michigan mama, who lives very simply and talks about enjoy the season she is in. She is also talking ALL about gardening and her process behind how she plants and learns in nature. It’s a breath of fresh air from the constant RUSH RUSH RUSH mindset of so many, and I adore seeing the beauty of Michigan through her eyes.

The Mary Marantz Show is solid gold. All of her episodes are amazing and will make you feel like you can take on anything you set your mind to. Mary is an AMAZING interviewer and doesn’t ask superficial questions, but really digs deep and gets to the nitty gritty stuff. And Mary is a wonderful human being in real life as well.

Modern Manners for Moms & Dads is a new one for me that I’ve been really digging through. I heard these ladies on another podcast and was so intrigued by their stance on parenting. It has really made me take a step back and reevaluate myself and my approach to how I react to situations as a mom.

The Purpose Show with Allie Casazza is great for moms who feel like they are stuck in the trap of “Suffering through motherhood”. It helps you realize that in order for us to be our best version of ourselves, as women and mothers, we need to take better care of our mental and physical health first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Spiritual Health

Being a Catholic Christian is a big part of my life. It shapes not just how I spend my weekend, but also how I view the world and all aspects of my life. My three favorite podcasts are ironically by the same person.

UMD Newman Catholic Campus- Father Mike Schmitz. He is a priest/campus chaplain at the University of Minnesota Duluth, and before the pandemic, I would listen to his weekly homily on his podcast because it would always dive SO MUCH deeper into the readings than what my own local priest would do during mass. When all the churches closed in March 2020, he took to Youtube and offered weekly mass for his “virtual front pew” as he called us.

The Bible in a Year- In addition to his homilies, he also has a new one that started on January 1st, 2021 and it comes out every morning and Fr. Mike is reading through the entire Bible. There is a whole reading plan based on Jeff Cavin’s study of the Great Adventure Timeline, that addressed the story of Salvation and how we fit into that story. It’s amazing and I have listened every single morning since Jan 1. I make sure that my brain is fully listening and comprehending what I’m hearing, so I do it while I get ready in the morning alone in the bathroom.

Fr. Mike Schmitz is basically the audio from his youtube channel for Ask Father Mike. Where he will address questions or subjects that people ask him about from a Catholic perspective.

Comic Relief/ Favorite TV Shows

Fake Doctors, Real Friends is a hilarious podcast that is basically Zach Braff & Donald Faison shooting the ish, talking about current events, and occasionally they talk about their old Tv Show SCRUBS. (Which I loved that show in high school/college and owned all the seasons on DVD) yeah, i’m old(er). They are definitely vulgar and talk about a lot of really bizarre things, but I listen when I just need to take my mind off of the crazy and have a good laugh.

The Office Deep Dive with Brian Baumgartner is a new one, but it’s the actor who played Kevin from the Office, talking to all his old castmates about their time on The Office. It’s just fun and mindless to listen to, and I’m enjoying so far.

Office Ladies with Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey is great and they really break down every episode. It’s so fun to hear these ladies talk about the show and what was going on behind the scenes as they filmed all of this. Talking about what was improvised and who wrote what lines. No Joke, The Office is my ALL TIME FAVORITE show, and before Netflix took it off, Ryan and I would watch it almost every night.

Okay Folks, That’s it. That’s my current lineup on podcasts. If you have any that you think I might like, leave me a comment below, because I’m always looking for new things to listen to!! Thanks friends and I hope this was helpful!

2020 Review

2020. I mean, am I right? I figured I would try to do a recap of our 2020, and when I started grabbing my favorite pictures from this year, it made me SO HAPPY (and I had a really hard time only choosing a few). I’m just going to break it down Month by Month I guess… SO, I apologize because this is going to be LONG.

JANUARY

January started with, hand foot and mouth disease, and LOTS of cleaning.

Lots of time was spent just me and the kids, because Ryan was travelling SO MUCH, and was gearing up for a full year of travelling.

I got a lot of Viv snuggles, and we managed to get her on a really good sleeping schedule, even though it kind of felt like we would never see the end of all the sleepless nights.

Winter in Michigan always encourages lots of snuggling, so I’m all for that, especially with these 3 snuggle butts.

Also in January, I started working out again, Jonathan started Learn to Skate & I painted the vanity in the bathroom!

FEBRUARY

In February, I discovered my obsession for Oat Yeah creamer, and had fun playing with my new Tombow markers.

Lots more Viv Snugs.

Vivienne still stealing the show with her cuteness.

Ryan and I went on our only date of 2020. I did some workouts with the kids, and Ryan was able to touch his toes for the first time since grade school.

Ryan went on a couple more business trips, and we spent some time outside in the snow.

Jonathan started really progressing in his learn to skate class, we started planning the girls room remodel, and Verona told me she wanted to start going on the big girl potty. (But I wasn’t quite ready)

MARCH

Ryan went on his last business trip, Vivienne turned 8 months old. Jonathan was still in Learn to skate. The kids enjoyed some outside time… and I did another small project in the bathroom.

And suddenly we were issued a stay at home order, Ryan had to work from home, and we started doing more painting projects with the kids.

We started making art in our windows to put a smile on the face of everyone who was walking by. Jonathan lost his first tooth. Verona was potty trained. And we didn’t leave our house for two full weeks.

Lots of couch snuggles because we all got sick. (Not with covid)

APRIL

We enjoyed a lot of time at home. Lots of cleaning. Lots of sanitizing of everything, mail, packages, groceries. Lots of snuggles.

We were not able to attend Easter mass, or spend it with family, so we made it work. And did some baking.

We switched out the rug in our living room, and cleaned up the kitchen and purged a lot of our cabinets.

We learned to love all the time we were given to enjoy each others company.

MAY

The trees started to change & we finally started having warm enough weather that we could go for hikes.

Jonathan’s grandma finished making his quilt for his bed, and he finished preschool. And I took them for a drive around town just to get out of the house.

We really really learned to love our backyard. Slip n slide, and enjoying the sun.

So. Many. Walks. Almost every night when the weather permitted.

Memorial weekend was beautiful and we were able to enjoy the pool at grandma & grandpa’s.

Also, planted our flower pots and the garden!

JUNE

June came and I decided blogging would be a good idea. I had continued to progress with all my working out, and even started running. At the end of the month we FINALLY had our brand new air conditioning hooked up.

More outside time. More pool fun. More sun. More time just the five of us.

JULY

July came and brought birthday’s for all three babies. Verona turned 3, Vivienne turned 1 & Jonathan turned 6.

We FINALLY felt brave enough to go on an out of town adventure, and spent time with Ryan’s family.

More pool time.

My kids have a lot of personality.

More walks, watching sunsets, & lots of ice cream.

AUGUST

With August, brought my 33rd birthday, and our 8th Wedding Anniversary. We celebrated in Traverse City with hikes in the woods and some late nights by the fire.

Also LOTS of beach time at our very secluded favorite beach along the shore of Lake Michigan.

We had the chance to go blueberry picking with grandma, and we are still enjoying the fruits of that labor.

We were able to make it back up north for one final weekend in Traverse City for more beach time. I can’t even begin to explain how special this time with our kids was at the beach.

It’s truly something I will hold close to my heart forever.

We switched out our oven, and FINALLY finished our girls room renovation.

SEPTEMBER

September brought about MORE walks & hikes in the woods.

You guessed it, more time enjoying our own backyard.

Jonathan started his first day of kindergarten, at his amazing “pod school” in town.

I ran my first (and maybe my only) 1/2 marathon. 13.1 miles of pain… if I ever do it again, maybe I’ll train.

More Hikes, a field trip, and lots of precious time with Verona while brother was at school.

OCTOBER

October brought Ryan’s 34th birthday and lots of love from his daughters.

Yup. More hikes.

WE. GOT. A. PELOTON!!!!!!! And I promised Ryan I would use it EVERY DAY. I’m still obsessed with it.

Finally being braver and going out in public more. Life feels weird. Masks are our reality right now, and one day I’ll look back on this and laugh.

We enjoyed some baking and made Halloween treats.

Finished off the month with trick or treating with masks at a few houses in our neighborhood.

NOVEMBER

We had a week of unseasonably warm weather, and we enjoyed EVERY SECOND of it!

Last walk of the year.

Snuggles with my girls, and attended my nephews baptism and enjoyed some MUCH NEEDED time with my family.

More working from home for Ryan. Had our first Thanksgiving at our house.

And finally got the house ready for Christmas. Hung lights outside and embraced the weirdest year of our lives with going all in on the Christmas decor.

DECEMBER

December came and I got all my ornament orders completed and shipped out. We got our house completely decked out with Christmas, and more Christmas projects!

The kids all got sick, so lots of snuggles.

Once everyone felt better we made Christmas cookies with grandma!

Was able to have a wonderful gathering with my family for Christmas.

Enjoyed a beautiful Christmas eve & day and weekend at home. And felt extremely blessed by all that God provided for our family this year.

We had an AWESOME snow day, and enjoyed it as a family!

Per usual, Viv bringing the cuteness.

And then we finished the year with an epic nerf gun battle, the “ball drop” at 8pm with the kids and Ryan was asleep by 11:45pm.

And there we have it… A couple hundred photos of our year. If you made it through that, thank you. I don’t really share a lot of photos on social media platforms because I wonder if people want to see it. But this is us. Our crazy, simple, modest life we live here in Michigan.

In 2020, I learned…

• I can handle a lot.

• I still adore my husband, possibly more so because he is incredibly helpful.

• How to cut my husband and son’s hair.

• That I can go a really long time without coloring my hair.

• Stores with Drive up are my favorite.

• I don’t need to eat take out, and McDonalds just doesn’t sound good right now.

• Working out is SUPER addicting and makes me a better mom/wife/person.

• Wearing makeup keeps me motivated.

• Not seeing family sucks.

• Ryan CAN work from home.

• Our backyard isn’t as bad as I thought.

• Homemade dairy free ice cream is actually really good.

• People are going to say hurtful things. Be Kind anyway.

• I really really really miss going on a date with my husband.

• My house needs a basement.

• I learned a lot about myself. I unpacked a lot of pain from my past, and even if it wasn’t addressed with the people who hurt me, I learned to forgive myself.

• Communication is EXTREMELY important.

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To say this past year was so hard for so many people would be the understatement of the century. But I choose to focus on the blessings of this year, because they have taught me sooo much about resiliency and appreciating what is right in front of us. I’m praying that 2021 will bring continued Joy to our home even in these uncertain times.