Every Day is the "BEST DAY EVER"

I know it’s cliche to say that my children teach me every day how to be a better person, but the statement is true. Motherhood, for me, has been one never ending lesson in self improvement. To put it bluntly, I’m an anti-social, impatient, type-A, control freak, who hates change, thrives on schedules and routines, and likes to have fun, but only if it’s in the time frame I permit. I’m going to go hide now, because I also don’t like showing vulnerability. But kids, man… kids will change you quick.

My children, despite the Homeschool stereotype, are extremely social kids. Everyone is good and wonderful in their eyes. There’s always new possibilities to make friends around every corner. We joined a nature school co-op this year, after 4 years of avoiding them. Every Friday is the “BEST DAY EVER” because they have the freedom to play and learn with 30 other homeschool families. It’s been a blessing in disguise, even though I really questioned myself for signing up.

If I’m being honest, since we’ve moved… I struggle putting myself in situations I know might be uncomfortable. Meeting new people? Uncomfortable. Spending time in nature, no matter the weather or elements? Uncomfortable. Allowing my kids the freedom to run through the woods, play in streams, and climb big hills, with the chance of getting hurt or dirty? UNCOMFORTABLE. But for my kids? It’s the BEST DAY EVER. Each time we go, they make new friends, tackle new experiences, gain a little more independence and subsequently gain a little more confidence.

Admittedly, I’m a bit of a Helicopter mom. I’m not trying to stunt my kids, but protecting their souls is my primary goal… and this world feels wild, more wild than I remember it being as a child. I know, as soon as you start talking about the evils of this world, or the things you’re trying to protect you kids from, you become some type of “Worldly Hateful diagnosis”. If you say it’s for Religious reasons, it’s even worse. But I’m a Catholic. A traditional one at that. Assume what you will, but I’m raising my children in the faith, teaching them to love their neighbors, love their enemies, and to use discernment when encountering new situations.

“By their fruits you shall know them”

— Matthew 7:16

All this to say, I want to see the world, the way my kids see it. Every day is some new adventure to have, a new book to read, something new to learn, new friends to make, a beautiful sunset to see. They don’t just see the world with rose colored glasses, they see it with Tetrachromatic vision, with hundreds of millions of extraordinary colors and shades. It’s beautiful and complex, but rare in this pessimistic world.

I could tell you how my kids teach me about patience, or going with the flow of the day, or even accepting the things I cannot change… but hearing them claim “best day ever” over multiple days each week, makes me question my ideal “Best day Ever”. Spending time with neighbors, hikes with friends, shopping at cool stores, seeing beautiful sunsets, vacation in Traverse City, time spent with cousins, playing tennis, family bike rides. All of those situations and more, warrant the title of BEST DAY EVER, and that makes my heart swell.

Is This The Start of Something?

““Who cares if no one reads this mom! Just read it to us, we think you’re awesome!” ”

Monday morning, I sat and typed out a quick blog post about my new computer. Little did I know that it would lead me to read a few of my blog posts from years past, to my curious children. Posts I wrote about our family, making childhood magical, open letters I wrote to them on their birthdays, and even a post I wrote last Christmas that I never shared. By the end of it all, the girls were all crying and Jonathan was really feeling all in his feels about how much I love him. Three children, who read 2-3 chapter books a week, boosted my ego by telling me that I’m actually a really good writer, even if I might not always believe in myself.

Could I put this all in a written journal? Sure. Am I going to? Probably not. Do I enjoy typing and incorporating photos to go along with those words? You Bet I do! Here’s what I didn’t expect to really enjoy, re-reading my random thoughts and ramblings and revisiting my brain. I’m not generally one to whine and complain about my husband and children, especially on the internet for all to see. (That’s not to say that I don’t get annoyed or frustrated with them on occasion… I just don’t air it in public) But I was pleasantly surprised to read that there was no whif of griping, just a common theme of “JORDANNE PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE, YOU’RE MISSING IT ALL!” You’d think by now, I’d have learned, but what’s that saying about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.

I sat there at the dinner table, Monday night, reading more posts aloud to Ryan, most of them he had never read, because the man doesn’t do social media. One in particular, was the post from 10.14.16. I could barely read the words aloud through sobs and whimpers. “I WROTE THIS?” I just couldn’t believe that my brain, the same brain that walks into a room and has no recollection of why I’m there, a sleep deprived mom brain, could sit down and form words and sentences, so raw and beautiful. The post I’m referring to was me pleading with God to give us another baby. We struggled with unexplained infertility for our first two babies, and even had a miscarriage in between and I was feeling very exhausted from the struggle. I found out a few weeks later that I got pregnant shortly after writing that.

As I’ve said before, this has always been an outlet for me, back in high school and my livejournal days. Back when I separated every thought with an ellipses and my daily mood was always some Taking Back Sunday song. Even if no one reads this. I’m going to write, because I feel I need it.

My mom, now in her early 60s, loves to sit and chat with me about my childhood (her early motherhood). I would bring up amazing things she did, or adventures we went on, projects we made, songs we used to sing, memories I have that she doesn’t remember. “I’m so glad you remember all this stuff, because somehow I don’t remember any of it! I was in survival mode with five kids.” I’m not sure how she couldn’t remember, she was the most present and attentive mom around, but in the same vein, I look back at photos from the past 11 years and there’s blank spots in my memory! Usually during hard or difficult times, I remember the traumatic thing that was going on, but not the beautiful memories that continue to play out even through the struggle. I wonder if thats the same for her.

I think about this past summer, as we honored the life of my cousin, who was taken from this world way too early. It was a hard, unimaginable weekend, full of tears and grief. But even in the midst of all that, my kids made memories with me and Ryan. Happy, joy-filled, core memories. So maybe it’s kinda like that. We don’t get to pick and choose what our kids remember, but we are responsible for how we make them feel. The trip was hard, but we made sure to make it an adventure, as we always do. As moms, we need to take that job seriously.

So, I Got a New Computer.

October 16, 2015 is when this photo was taken.

I got a new computer. My fifteen year old iMac, that hung with me in all the best of times, decided it was time to meet its maker. (or at the very least, get gutted like a fish at the tech store).

If it were a human, it would have been preparing to learn how to drive. We’ve been through a lot, my iMAc and me. It was with me through my wedding photography years, helped me cull almost a million photos, edit almost 100 weddings, and stored all the photos of my kids lives up until this point. When I realized it wouldn’t turn on this summer, I went through the 5 stages of grief over the course of a weekend, as I grappled with the idea that I might lose everything that is saved on it’s hard drive. Ryan constantly reassured me that it would be okay and that they should be able to, at the very least, salvage the hard drive. Thankfully, he was right.

Ironically, for Christmas 2024, my wonderful, insightful husband, Ryan purchased me a new MacBook Air because he heard me say on numerous occasions that my two computers (which I refused to update to the new iOS because I didn’t want to lose all my photo editing software), were seeming on their last legs. Every time I would turn them on, I held my breath hoping I could accomplish one more task, make it through one more season, one more Christmas card design, a few more photo edits. No joke, I’ve been holding my breath like this for the past 5 years. I just couldn’t justify buying a new computer when photography was no longer a big source of income for our family, and I was scratching by with using them for the bare minimum. But here we are.

I felt so guilty about getting a new computer, it took me almost a two months before I even set it up, and even still… THIS MONTH I finally purchased photoshop and Lightroom so I can get back to editing photos again. As I sit here on my couch, typing away, I’m reminded of how much I miss using an ACTUAL computer to look at websites, purchase my ornament samples for the upcoming ornament season, and EVEN THIS, typing out my thoughts in blog form. Do people still read blogs? WHO KNOWS. I know I don’t, because I’ve convinced myself I have no time for that, even though I miraculously have countless hours to scroll my stupid phone. <EYE ROLL> But that’s a topic for another post.

Anyway, I just wanted to document this momentous occasion, and try to convince myself to get back to something I love to do, blogging my thoughts, for no one to read. As I scroll through the drafts on this blog, that I never shared, I realize that I spend way too much brain space worrying about what others might think, and not enough time doing the things I love to do. I even did a search on my phone for photos of my old computers and office space and even 2015 Jordanne knew better than to compare myself to strangers on the internet.

Does anyone else look back at photos on their camera rolls and wonder who that person was? I’m not quite sure where that version of me went, or how I got so sucked into the distraction of my phone, but I’m trying very hard to break myself free. Maybe it’s homeschooling demands, maybe it’s the fact that I now have 3 slightly bigger humans who have lots of thoughts and ideas to tell me about on a daily basis, or being 100% responsible for all the day to day things without family to help. My guess is the phone distraction is what’s eating up most of my time.

Now off to start my day.

Little Jonny pretending to work at my desk

I miss this Office space <3

Hello, it’s me…

I grew up in the age of live journal, chat rooms, AIM & MySpace… so sharing my thoughts on a public platform like a blog seemed like second nature to me. As my photography blog has since been shutdown, and I only started writing on this blog back in 2015… I felt it fitting to re-introduce myself, because I have changed quite a bit in the past 10 years.

hi. Welcome to my neglected corner of the internet. I had all the best intentions to share life happenings, house projects, favorite recipes, Amazon essentials and more here. I quickly learned that I’m terrible with consistency and struggle with imposter syndrome, so I’m convinced that this space will just be a huge waste of time, seeing as people don’t spend much time on blogs anymore. It went from instagram, to Pinterest, to YouTube, to now TikTok… and I feel like my brain and attention span have left me in the process. I can now see why our parents give up learning the new technologies because Lordy does it change quickly!

The past week, I’ve wasted the better part of the day trying to figure out how to use TikTok and actually grow on that app. What content I need to be making and sharing, and how I need to be engaging with other creators. It truly makes me want to lie down and take a huge nap, and question if this is even something I want to try to figure out. But in the process, I realized that so much of who I am and what I love isn’t being showcased on any social platform (not that it needs to be), but I have always found so much comfort in encouraging others and making people feel at home or at the very least, that they are normal & seen. When we are truly ourselves, we can bring a unique perspective, instead of regurgitating what we think people want to hear, or acting the same way as popular influencers do, thinking that it will get us likes and views.

I’m just me. Insignificant to the world, but absolutely everything to three tiny humans, and a wonderful man who married me. I feel like this little life we live is pretty great, and I’m so grateful for every day I get to spend with them. And if it’s interesting to you, I’m always happy to share what’s working for us, and also what’s not. I’m a fairly open book when it comes to our life, but I will never pretend to be an expert at anything, because I feel like there’s always room for improvement or ways I can make it better. The only thing you must know, you will never change my views on Faith or politics. Not to say I’m not open for discussion, but I’m set on both. Thanks.

So, a little about me. Elevator edition? I’m a sorta crunchy Catholic SAHM of three. Happily Married to the man of my dreams. Sourdough making, Raw milk drinking, meat loving, occasional mural painting, homeschooling artist, who loves to share baked goods with neighbors, paint my home in fun bright colors, have loud dance parties with my kids and sing loudly in the car. If I’m not in the kitchen, you’ll find me at my desk drawing with my kids, or working out with Peloton. Cliche? Maybe. But I want to be able to enjoy adventures with kids and husband for years to come and not complain about my body hurting.

That’s me. In a very small nutshell. As I say in here, almost every year, I really hope to start sharing more. Using this blog more and maybe actually treating this more like a job than a hobby. (Maybe I would actually make a little money in the process too).