One Year ago…

Happy One YEAR!!

We’ve come a long way from this photo…

On Tuesday, 10-4, we celebrated one full year since we closed on our home in Medina. I can still remember the excitement of coming to this empty house, knowing it was all ours. Ryan and I made a quick trip down to sign papers, vacuum carpets and having the carpets & ductwork cleaned. Now if I said I saw all the potential as we walked the empty rooms of this house, I would be lying. Bold faced Lie. Because to be honest… I was racking my brain, praying that fresh ideas would come to me. I knew of a couple things I for sure wanted to do… but that was it. Colors, style, etc… I was blanking.

I spent most of November-March sitting on my hands because I was afraid to mess it up. I was waiting for Ryan to help me decide on colors, and to help me get the projects done on the weekends, because that was how we did a lot of work on our old house. It was always such a big to-do… we would send our kids to grandmas just so we could accomplish our tasks, but then I realized… if I want it done. I have to do it myself. No one is going to watch my kids. No one is going to help me. It’s Me. So. I put on my big girl panties, bought some paint and got to work.

Ryan’s new job has him traveling from time to time, so on a random trip in March, I dug in. Small bite size projects that can be accomplished in a couple days. Room by room, this house was developing a new personality, and room by room, I felt the life come back to me. The creativity came rushing back to me and suddenly each room revealed its personality.

We are far from done. It‘s a marathon not a sprint… but man I am enjoying the journey! So many more projects planned for the upcoming winter months!! More photos to come soon!

Coming Up for Air...

I have missed this space. Like truly, deeply missed sharing my life in this capacity. My last post was March of 2021, and well to say “A LOT has changed since then”, would be quite the understatement. In a nutshell? In August (2021), Ryan took a new job in Ohio, we moved, bought a new house, started homeschooling, and I’ve jumped head first into making this new house our home.

It’s been a rough year, dealing with feelings of losing myself, overwhelm, anxiety and some seasonal depression as I’ve navigated these days of mom-seclusion at home, with no babysitter or family around to help lighten the burden, but that’s life isn’t it? Everyone has their crosses to bear, or has difficult points in their days, weeks, months. But through all that, Ryan and I have been working with a counselor for both our marriage and individual personal things, I’ve been digging deeper into my faith as a Catholic, and slowly but surely, I feel like I’m finally coming up for air.

SO much has changed in our home since this photo was taken. Lots of painting, wallpapering, and overall feeling like this space has turned into the creative environment we needed. I still miss my kitchen in Midland, EVERY DAY… Mostly missing those white quartz countertops, but I’m slowly convincing Ryan that we would benefit from new countertops. But its all been a journey. I tell myself daily that Instagram isn’t real life, that it is completely unrealistic to buy, renovate and have everything painted and in perfect order when you move into a new home. Having that expectation is only going to usher in feelings of frustration and discontent.

As I sit here at the counter, in my 90’s oak kitchen, with brown countertops, I can’t help but look around and smile at all the work I’ve done thus far. So much life & personality has been breathed into this home, and I can see the fruits of my labor. But the before & afters are for another day. In the meantime, we are enjoying our new normal, missing Michigan like crazy, but enjoying all that Ohio has to offer. We’ve made a couple friends, Ryan is thriving in his new position at work, we have hit our stride with homeschooling and the kids truly enjoy all this time together.

Now if I can just get better at carving out some time once a week to get back to updating this site. Even if no one reads this, I want to be able to look back at this journey together, with my favorite people in the whole wide world.

—The Van Wert Fam.

2020 Review

2020. I mean, am I right? I figured I would try to do a recap of our 2020, and when I started grabbing my favorite pictures from this year, it made me SO HAPPY (and I had a really hard time only choosing a few). I’m just going to break it down Month by Month I guess… SO, I apologize because this is going to be LONG.

JANUARY

January started with, hand foot and mouth disease, and LOTS of cleaning.

Lots of time was spent just me and the kids, because Ryan was travelling SO MUCH, and was gearing up for a full year of travelling.

I got a lot of Viv snuggles, and we managed to get her on a really good sleeping schedule, even though it kind of felt like we would never see the end of all the sleepless nights.

Winter in Michigan always encourages lots of snuggling, so I’m all for that, especially with these 3 snuggle butts.

Also in January, I started working out again, Jonathan started Learn to Skate & I painted the vanity in the bathroom!

FEBRUARY

In February, I discovered my obsession for Oat Yeah creamer, and had fun playing with my new Tombow markers.

Lots more Viv Snugs.

Vivienne still stealing the show with her cuteness.

Ryan and I went on our only date of 2020. I did some workouts with the kids, and Ryan was able to touch his toes for the first time since grade school.

Ryan went on a couple more business trips, and we spent some time outside in the snow.

Jonathan started really progressing in his learn to skate class, we started planning the girls room remodel, and Verona told me she wanted to start going on the big girl potty. (But I wasn’t quite ready)

MARCH

Ryan went on his last business trip, Vivienne turned 8 months old. Jonathan was still in Learn to skate. The kids enjoyed some outside time… and I did another small project in the bathroom.

And suddenly we were issued a stay at home order, Ryan had to work from home, and we started doing more painting projects with the kids.

We started making art in our windows to put a smile on the face of everyone who was walking by. Jonathan lost his first tooth. Verona was potty trained. And we didn’t leave our house for two full weeks.

Lots of couch snuggles because we all got sick. (Not with covid)

APRIL

We enjoyed a lot of time at home. Lots of cleaning. Lots of sanitizing of everything, mail, packages, groceries. Lots of snuggles.

We were not able to attend Easter mass, or spend it with family, so we made it work. And did some baking.

We switched out the rug in our living room, and cleaned up the kitchen and purged a lot of our cabinets.

We learned to love all the time we were given to enjoy each others company.

MAY

The trees started to change & we finally started having warm enough weather that we could go for hikes.

Jonathan’s grandma finished making his quilt for his bed, and he finished preschool. And I took them for a drive around town just to get out of the house.

We really really learned to love our backyard. Slip n slide, and enjoying the sun.

So. Many. Walks. Almost every night when the weather permitted.

Memorial weekend was beautiful and we were able to enjoy the pool at grandma & grandpa’s.

Also, planted our flower pots and the garden!

JUNE

June came and I decided blogging would be a good idea. I had continued to progress with all my working out, and even started running. At the end of the month we FINALLY had our brand new air conditioning hooked up.

More outside time. More pool fun. More sun. More time just the five of us.

JULY

July came and brought birthday’s for all three babies. Verona turned 3, Vivienne turned 1 & Jonathan turned 6.

We FINALLY felt brave enough to go on an out of town adventure, and spent time with Ryan’s family.

More pool time.

My kids have a lot of personality.

More walks, watching sunsets, & lots of ice cream.

AUGUST

With August, brought my 33rd birthday, and our 8th Wedding Anniversary. We celebrated in Traverse City with hikes in the woods and some late nights by the fire.

Also LOTS of beach time at our very secluded favorite beach along the shore of Lake Michigan.

We had the chance to go blueberry picking with grandma, and we are still enjoying the fruits of that labor.

We were able to make it back up north for one final weekend in Traverse City for more beach time. I can’t even begin to explain how special this time with our kids was at the beach.

It’s truly something I will hold close to my heart forever.

We switched out our oven, and FINALLY finished our girls room renovation.

SEPTEMBER

September brought about MORE walks & hikes in the woods.

You guessed it, more time enjoying our own backyard.

Jonathan started his first day of kindergarten, at his amazing “pod school” in town.

I ran my first (and maybe my only) 1/2 marathon. 13.1 miles of pain… if I ever do it again, maybe I’ll train.

More Hikes, a field trip, and lots of precious time with Verona while brother was at school.

OCTOBER

October brought Ryan’s 34th birthday and lots of love from his daughters.

Yup. More hikes.

WE. GOT. A. PELOTON!!!!!!! And I promised Ryan I would use it EVERY DAY. I’m still obsessed with it.

Finally being braver and going out in public more. Life feels weird. Masks are our reality right now, and one day I’ll look back on this and laugh.

We enjoyed some baking and made Halloween treats.

Finished off the month with trick or treating with masks at a few houses in our neighborhood.

NOVEMBER

We had a week of unseasonably warm weather, and we enjoyed EVERY SECOND of it!

Last walk of the year.

Snuggles with my girls, and attended my nephews baptism and enjoyed some MUCH NEEDED time with my family.

More working from home for Ryan. Had our first Thanksgiving at our house.

And finally got the house ready for Christmas. Hung lights outside and embraced the weirdest year of our lives with going all in on the Christmas decor.

DECEMBER

December came and I got all my ornament orders completed and shipped out. We got our house completely decked out with Christmas, and more Christmas projects!

The kids all got sick, so lots of snuggles.

Once everyone felt better we made Christmas cookies with grandma!

Was able to have a wonderful gathering with my family for Christmas.

Enjoyed a beautiful Christmas eve & day and weekend at home. And felt extremely blessed by all that God provided for our family this year.

We had an AWESOME snow day, and enjoyed it as a family!

Per usual, Viv bringing the cuteness.

And then we finished the year with an epic nerf gun battle, the “ball drop” at 8pm with the kids and Ryan was asleep by 11:45pm.

And there we have it… A couple hundred photos of our year. If you made it through that, thank you. I don’t really share a lot of photos on social media platforms because I wonder if people want to see it. But this is us. Our crazy, simple, modest life we live here in Michigan.

In 2020, I learned…

• I can handle a lot.

• I still adore my husband, possibly more so because he is incredibly helpful.

• How to cut my husband and son’s hair.

• That I can go a really long time without coloring my hair.

• Stores with Drive up are my favorite.

• I don’t need to eat take out, and McDonalds just doesn’t sound good right now.

• Working out is SUPER addicting and makes me a better mom/wife/person.

• Wearing makeup keeps me motivated.

• Not seeing family sucks.

• Ryan CAN work from home.

• Our backyard isn’t as bad as I thought.

• Homemade dairy free ice cream is actually really good.

• People are going to say hurtful things. Be Kind anyway.

• I really really really miss going on a date with my husband.

• My house needs a basement.

• I learned a lot about myself. I unpacked a lot of pain from my past, and even if it wasn’t addressed with the people who hurt me, I learned to forgive myself.

• Communication is EXTREMELY important.

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To say this past year was so hard for so many people would be the understatement of the century. But I choose to focus on the blessings of this year, because they have taught me sooo much about resiliency and appreciating what is right in front of us. I’m praying that 2021 will bring continued Joy to our home even in these uncertain times.

Finding My Focus: Why I do What I do...

“What do you do? And Why do you do it?” Two questions I’ve been sitting down with a lot lately. Outside of the obvious “I’m a mom, and I love my kids” it’s really getting me thinking on a bigger scale.

This year for Christmas, Ryan bought me a book that was on my amazon wish list, and instead of just buying one, he bought two so he could read it right along with me. In true Ryan fashion, he had to vet the author and make sure she was good and someone he would enjoy reading, and after realizing that a lot of her messages align with his current favorite author, Michael Hyatt, he was intrigued. For those curious, it’s The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton.

Let me preface this with saying, I’m not someone who enjoys reading. If I have a spare 10-15 minutes, I usually waste it scrolling instagram or amazon looking at random things I don’t need. I couldn’t even be motivated in high school or college knowing my grade depended on it. It’s just never something that I’ve given myself the mental space to do. So when Ryan told me he would do this with me and we could discuss the book together, I was excited for another thing for us to talk about. A little look into me and Ryan’s relationship, we talk a lot, we discuss certain topics, we are very much involved in each other’s lives. If you were to see us out on a date in a restaurant (you know, pre-covid), there are no phones at the table, and we are usually talking or laughing.

A couple nights ago, after finishing a chapter, I put down the book and started talking about the questions that the author posed. “What do I do? Why do I do it? What am I passionate about? What makes me great?” Ryan and I tossed around a couple ideas, and he told me things that he thought I was good at, and I brought up a few things I enjoyed. Outside of motherhood, one big constant for me in all my years, I’ve always loved connecting with people on very personal levels. Almost allergic to small talk, I don’t want to talk to you about the weather, but rather something that is on your mind. Something deeper than that. Something you aspire to do, something you’re struggling with. Or I want to talk to you about something deeper that’s on my mind, in order to connect with you and show you another layer of who I am.

If you’ve known me for any amount of time, and have had a real conversation with me, you know that I don’t fake the funk. People who know me in real life, and follow me on social media know that they get the same person no matter what. (I may curse a little bit more in real life, but that’s only if I know there aren’t children present.) But THIS is me. And one thing that I brought up to Ryan as an answer to what I’m passionate about, is that I don’t like knowing people feel alone. Whether it’s in life, in motherhood, in their health, in their struggles, in their joy, I want to be able to use what God has given me, who He made me to be, and bring those struggling a glimmer of peace and to feel seen.

Okay, so all that to say, how am I going to put this into action? Honestly, I’m going to keep showing up. I’m going to keep talking about my life, our struggles, our wins because that’s what I love. Maybe it’s here on the blog. Maybe it will be with people who send me direct messages. Or with friends I get to sit down and have coffee with. But my one prayer for 2021 is to continue this life of living with intention, not buying into the lies that THINGS make us happy, motherhood is always awful and hard, being healthy means you have a perfect body, and that a good life should always be easy and without obstacles.

I feel like I declare this over every year, but last year I blogged 19 times over the course of a year, which is WAY more than I did in 2019, or 2018 combined! So here I go again, trying to be better at this, and setting a goal of AT LEAST once a week, which feels completely manageable at the moment. Happy first week of January!