October 16, 2015 is when this photo was taken.
I got a new computer. My fifteen year old iMac, that hung with me in all the best of times, decided it was time to meet its maker. (or at the very least, get gutted like a fish at the tech store).
If it were a human, it would have been preparing to learn how to drive. We’ve been through a lot, my iMAc and me. It was with me through my wedding photography years, helped me cull almost a million photos, edit almost 100 weddings, and stored all the photos of my kids lives up until this point. When I realized it wouldn’t turn on this summer, I went through the 5 stages of grief over the course of a weekend, as I grappled with the idea that I might lose everything that is saved on it’s hard drive. Ryan constantly reassured me that it would be okay and that they should be able to, at the very least, salvage the hard drive. Thankfully, he was right.
Ironically, for Christmas 2024, my wonderful, insightful husband, Ryan purchased me a new MacBook Air because he heard me say on numerous occasions that my two computers (which I refused to update to the new iOS because I didn’t want to lose all my photo editing software), were seeming on their last legs. Every time I would turn them on, I held my breath hoping I could accomplish one more task, make it through one more season, one more Christmas card design, a few more photo edits. No joke, I’ve been holding my breath like this for the past 5 years. I just couldn’t justify buying a new computer when photography was no longer a big source of income for our family, and I was scratching by with using them for the bare minimum. But here we are.
I felt so guilty about getting a new computer, it took me almost a two months before I even set it up, and even still… THIS MONTH I finally purchased photoshop and Lightroom so I can get back to editing photos again. As I sit here on my couch, typing away, I’m reminded of how much I miss using an ACTUAL computer to look at websites, purchase my ornament samples for the upcoming ornament season, and EVEN THIS, typing out my thoughts in blog form. Do people still read blogs? WHO KNOWS. I know I don’t, because I’ve convinced myself I have no time for that, even though I miraculously have countless hours to scroll my stupid phone. <EYE ROLL> But that’s a topic for another post.
Anyway, I just wanted to document this momentous occasion, and try to convince myself to get back to something I love to do, blogging my thoughts, for no one to read. As I scroll through the drafts on this blog, that I never shared, I realize that I spend way too much brain space worrying about what others might think, and not enough time doing the things I love to do. I even did a search on my phone for photos of my old computers and office space and even 2015 Jordanne knew better than to compare myself to strangers on the internet.
Does anyone else look back at photos on their camera rolls and wonder who that person was? I’m not quite sure where that version of me went, or how I got so sucked into the distraction of my phone, but I’m trying very hard to break myself free. Maybe it’s homeschooling demands, maybe it’s the fact that I now have 3 slightly bigger humans who have lots of thoughts and ideas to tell me about on a daily basis, or being 100% responsible for all the day to day things without family to help. My guess is the phone distraction is what’s eating up most of my time.
Now off to start my day.
Little Jonny pretending to work at my desk
I miss this Office space <3